Funeral flowers are a very strong and historic tradition in the UK and across the world. Friends and family often send sympathy flowers directly to the bereaved, or send floral tributes to the funeral director so they can be included in the funeral service.
However, these flower arrangements may not always feel like the right way to say you care. It might be that you know your bereaved friend does not like flowers; perhaps you are worried they would see it as a waste. Often the bereaved find the sight of wilting flowers too reminiscent of death in the days and weeks after the funeral. So a unique way of showing that you care is needed.
A Potted Plant!
Often the issue with flower arrangements is that they inevitably wilt and die. Throwing those flowers away can sometimes feel too final, as if the funeral is now really over and your loved one is really gone for good.
A potted plant is more long-lasting and will brighten up a room long after flower arrangements have been consigned to the rubbish bin. Remember, your grieving friend might well be too pre-occupied to remember to water it, so pick a tough plant that doesn’t mind the dry.
Food Or Drink
Instead of flowers, you could send a basket of muffins or other sweet treats to your bereaved friend. If you want to keep it healthy, a basket of fruit is just as thoughtful. In the weeks leading up to and after the funeral, you might consider making some pre-prepared meals that your friend or relative can keep in the fridge or freezer and heat up whenever they can’t find the energy to cook for themselves.
A Donation To A Favourite Charity
Nowadays many people are opting to make a charitable donation instead of spending money on flowers. You might want to choose a worthy cause that is close to your friend’s heart. If the person who has died was battling a particular illness, donations to charities researching a cure may be appropriate.
A Rememberance Candle
Candles are traditionally associated with mourning and may be a longer-lasting tribute than flowers. Some people find that taking time to reflect while lighting a candle is a positive way to remember a loved one. Alternatively, you might choose a calming aromatherapy candle.
A Toy Or Something To Remember By
During grief, sometimes a little bit of comfort can help. A gift of a special blanket, pillow or teddy bear can be hugged, providing physical and emotional comfort. You can buy blankets, pillows and cuddly toys with quotes about grief embroidered on them, to mark them out as special.
Another option is to customise them yourself. Some people embroider their own message onto a pillow or teddy, or even use old clothing of the person who has died to make a very special pillow to hug. However, this should obviously only be done with the permission of the bereaved, and it may not be an appropriate gift to suggest if you do not know them very well.